The pudgy, bland, pasty ingredient you remember being picked last in gym class just came up to the fore, no less bristling with a thick skin under a vengeful cape of spicy dun dun sauce. Um, tofu? You've been working out, haven't you? We're nowhere ignoring your dual 3"x3"x1" puffy fried mattresses, cloaked in hyper-peanutty goodness, sporting fat slices of garlic and sprinkled scallions, imparting a stealth chili heat. If you dare us to dare, we'll take a stab through your tanned exterior ... Egads! Your pillowy, pale secrets spill out defiantly on outstretched chopsticks. Oh, tofu, tofu, tofu--you're still a big softy, after all.